Done Already?

It's incredible how quickly one's life goes. I know I just went through 3 months, and in reality that is not an extensive amount of time; but it proves that you can really throw yourself into just about any type of situation and come out the other side relatively unchanged.

Now don't get me wrong, being in Fiji was tremendously impactful--the people, their generosity and hospitality, the food, the weather, and the sum total 'experience' really does cause a change in pace. Indeed, almost like tripping on a stump during a run through the mountains causes a change in pace. Using that analogy, one might interprete that am suggesting Fiji was a "trip-up" to my 'pace' ... But in reality, I think I was already tripping before I left. In no disrespect to my family, friends or work colleagues I am pretty certain I was moving at a pace that ultimately would have led to a much worse "trip-up" had I continued to grit my teeth and continue moving on.

What Fiji has 'done' for me is what deep down I had hoped would happen--and then a number of other things I did not expect! I expected to be sweating, surrounded by bugs and be an environment where devistated young girls (and their children) we're being taken care of and their healing journey starting. To the latter point, I am forever marked; these girl's stories are beyond horrific, truly showing the grotesque nature of immorality among mankind. But some of the other things I had hoped to do (like surfing) we're otherwise superceded by better things: people and relationships.

Relationships are something that ultimately take place of other activities and, in my opinion, much better. When we are invited into relationships with others it allows an opportunity to share your own experiences--in a way vicariously living through others experiences and adding to that other person by which different experiences are had (often much better than what your planned experiences would have been).

This is no truer the case than my time in Fiji, and in New Zealand. Being purposefully cryptic, some relationships happened for me that were not expected, planned or thought possible: both joy and heartache. It would be ill of me to boast (or lemant) in the unknown of the future, but having friendships that alter the course of your future are something to be thankful for ..and to a large degree a bit scary. What I have learned thus far? God's plans for our future are exceedingly better than what we often feel comfortable asking for (read: Ephesians 3:20-21). Even though I am in the middle of the "unknown", I am choosing to believe in what I don't see, but I know to be true.

This really is the central line we must cross in our minds: does God really have a plan for my future? My life?

I think other questions arise from this place such as: is God really good? Is God really there? Is what I am doing now really matter?

While many questions still persist, I am learning to be broken, empty and ready to be used just how I am. During this Christmas and end-of-year season, my encouragement to anyone reading this is to focus on what matters: not a new laptop, phone, car or house--but those you have around you.

Thank you all for reading and allowing me to express my thoughts through this season. God has richly blessed me, even though it is very difficult at times to see it. My life is changed. I will continue to seek to become like Christ the rest of my days. I have nothing to give but Him and my life surrendered.